| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Gents |
Posted - 19/10/2004 : 09:40:29
Nailsea has made the national news headlines this morning for a train fire at Nailsea Station last night, here is one story: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/bristol/3754902.stm
Who is to blame? Ive been considering the evidence: It was a fire (Jim?) on a train (Clemo??) that left Bedminster (Dog?) and was heading towards Nailsea station (Potter?) but flames actually erupted while the train was passing undergrowth by Backwell Common, so the culprit is probably a known arsonist who lives in a bush - gotta be Alan Alway.
ZIDER! |
| 15 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Chowie |
Posted - 21/10/2004 : 09:03:22
quote:
Originally posted by Gents
A sheep packed with explosives that only go-off when something is inserted in it's arse would be better, because that way we can be sure only a Welshman would detonate it. He would be a suicide bummer.
ZIDER!
There sure to fall for this old chestnut, a bit of lubrication and the welsh Tail Gunners will blow. |
| Gents |
Posted - 20/10/2004 : 16:45:23
A sheep packed with explosives that only go-off when something is inserted in it's arse would be better, because that way we can be sure only a Welshman would detonate it. He would be a suicide bummer.
ZIDER! |
| Chowie |
Posted - 20/10/2004 : 12:18:55
The Bristol to Weston track is right outside my office in Long Ashton, there is also some Horses here. Maybe I could attach one to the back of the train, I think they can run canny fast. By the time the horse gets to Wales it will blow. |
| Jeff the Chef |
Posted - 20/10/2004 : 11:28:07
If you want a really devastating Trojan Train you either want to pack it with explosives or devise a way of getting it to leave the track.
....Don't Tell I Tell Ee  |
| Ricardiño |
Posted - 20/10/2004 : 11:25:39
Thi highlight for me last night was the woman who thought that the button to open the doors would still work, whilst the train was on fire! Apparently smashing the glass that says "Break glass to open doors in an emergency" was only their third choice of action!
I think we need to send a trojan train of our own in retaliation!
How long do you think this conversation will go on for before we attract MI5's attention?!
Make her day, put something in cider |
| Dog |
Posted - 20/10/2004 : 09:54:05
Obviously they thought it best to start with Nailsea, the heart of England.
Hannah More Zider .......its not for gays. |
| Jungle Jim |
Posted - 20/10/2004 : 09:42:01
An update from Points West last night - the train that gave itself to the flames was Welsh!!! It is owned by Arriva and maintained in Cardiff.
So this either means that someone knew this and that is why they burned it, or it is an act of war by the taffs, a kind of trojan horse which they smuggled into England to set fire to. This might also explain the apathy of the conductor and the un-opening doors, if it was a trap set by the evil Welsh. |
| Jeff the Chef |
Posted - 19/10/2004 : 15:41:33
It's a good benchmark for future press appearances! 
....Don't Tell I Tell Ee |
| Gents |
Posted - 19/10/2004 : 14:31:20
I think the best quote is this one from The Guardian "21 passengers and two crew - were taken to safety from the four-carriage train at Backwell Common, between Nailsea and Bristol." - because it describes Backwell Common as being between Nailsea and Bristol so assumes that people nationally will know where the famous towns of Nailsea and Bristol are but not the suburb of Backwell. And also proves that if the train was between Bristol and Nailsea then the train station is in Nailsea, therefore Backwell doesn't start until you pass the station, THEREFORE the Backwell Stone is definitely in the wrong place and we will be more than justified to move it 100 metres down the road on Bloody Sunday, (as we have intended to do for the last 3 years). We can use this article to defend ourselves in Court!
The Conductor was a women too.
Does anyone else feel strangely proud today that Nailsea has made the national news because of a fire?
ZIDER! |
| Dog |
Posted - 19/10/2004 : 14:10:30
Conductor Clements joked to the passengers when they raised the matter:
"If you wanted a non-smoking carriage you should have headed to the back of the train as instructed at Temple Meads - God it's getting like New York!".
Hannah More Zider .......its not for gays. |
| Smithy |
Posted - 19/10/2004 : 13:48:28
The Conductor who has now been named as Dan Clements has refused to comment......
 
Hannah More Zider......
In the Dogging Tent |
| Ricardiño |
Posted - 19/10/2004 : 13:39:49
The facts don't quite add up either, the train left Temple Meads at 8.06 and the Police received reports of smoke and flames at 8.35, and it stopped half a mile from the station. With the journey that takes just over 10 minutes, there's something strange going on!
Some great quotes for Wessex though, "we pulled the emergency thing and nothing happened." "We told the conductor and he said nothing was the matter." - Brilliant!
Make her day, put something in cider |
| Jungle Jim |
Posted - 19/10/2004 : 13:37:02
Good job we got our story straight Dog!
Reading the story again I think the most likely culprit sounds like the conductor, who refused to admit that the train was on fire even when flames were leaping up the sides of the carriage. "There is no problem" cackled the demented arsonist, as smoke billowed up from under the seats and fire alarms sounded all around him. The passengers pressed the emergency stop buttons but nothing happened, presumably because he ignored them whilst he delighted in his burning carriage. And then the doors wouldn't open, "you can't get off here, we must get to the platform where I have more lighter fluid".
I wonder if this individual still has a job this morning, or if he is now available to become HMZ's fire correspondent?! |
| Ricardiño |
Posted - 19/10/2004 : 13:29:36
Both very quick there to get their alibis in early! Some sort of timer device is still a possibility!
Make her day, put something in cider |
| Jungle Jim |
Posted - 19/10/2004 : 11:05:08
Both Dog & I have plenty of witnesses that we were at football training at the time of the incident, although Smithy had sneaked off and so remains a suspect. A quite possible cause was Derek's whistle, which was causing chaos with our running, we could also hear the sound of trains which were also apparently being confused by it blowing their horns.
Nice to see Nailsea revealed to the nation as the home of fire, I think for this reason we may have to revise the top 10 fires soon www.hannahmorezider.co.uk/fire.htm
Cider's coming home...
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