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Gents
HMZ God
Trinidad and Tobago
2214 Posts |
 Posted - 02/09/2004 : 10:01:37
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> Question: If you could live forever, would you and
> why?
> Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should
> not live forever, because if we were supposed to
> live forever, then we would live forever, but we
> cannot live forever, which is why I would not live
> forever,"
> --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
>
> ``````````````````````````````````
> "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving
> kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I
> mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with
> all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey
>
>
> ````````````
> "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
> important part of your life," --Brooke Shields,
> during an interview to become Spokesperson for
> federal anti-smoking campaign.
> `````````````````````````````````````````````````
> "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part
> of my body," --Winston Bennett, University of
> Kentucky basketball forward.
> `````````````````````````````````````````````
>
> "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
> lowest crime rates in
> the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
> `````````````````````````````
>
> "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through
> our papers. We are the president." --Hillary Clinton
> commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
> ````````````````````````````````````````````````````
>
>
> "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to
> death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
> --A democratic congressional candidate in Texas.
> ````````````````````````````
>
> "Half this game is ninety percent mental."
> --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
> ``````````````````````````````````
>
> "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.
> It's the impurities in our air and water that are
> doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President (DUH)
> ```````````````````
> "I love California. I practically grew up in
> Phoenix." --Dan Quayle
> ``````````
>
> "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much
> clean air do we need?"--Lee Iacocca
> ```````````
> "The word 'genius" isn't applicable in football. A
> genius is a guy like
> Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football
> quarterback &sports analyst.
> ````````````````````````````````````````````
> "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply
> exclude certain types of people."
> --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.
> `````````````````````````````````
> "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
> --Bill Clinton, President
> ``````````````````
> "We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or
> may not occur."
> --Al Gore, VP (damn he's smart)
> ````````````````
> "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come
> from overseas."
> --Keppel Enderbery
> ``````````````````````
> "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March
> 1992 because we received notice that you passed
> away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is
> a change in your circumstances."
> --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South
> Carolina
> ````````````````````````````````````````````
> "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this
> jack in at night as they
> go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout
> the night. And the
> next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a
> record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
> ````````````````````````````````````````````
"How would you get to Canada from here? Its next to France isn't it?" --Chris Geeson, August 2004
ZIDER! |
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Quotes
