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Gents
HMZ God
Trinidad and Tobago
2214 Posts |
 Posted - 19/10/2004 : 09:40:29
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Nailsea has made the national news headlines this morning for a train fire at Nailsea Station last night, here is one story: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/bristol/3754902.stm
Who is to blame? Ive been considering the evidence: It was a fire (Jim?) on a train (Clemo??) that left Bedminster (Dog?) and was heading towards Nailsea station (Potter?) but flames actually erupted while the train was passing undergrowth by Backwell Common, so the culprit is probably a known arsonist who lives in a bush - gotta be Alan Alway.
ZIDER! |
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Jeff the Chef
Thatchers Veteran
United Arab Emirates
672 Posts |
Posted - 19/10/2004 : 09:59:32
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Who is Alan Alway?? Seems to ring a bell or am I imagining it??
....Don't Tell I Tell Ee  |
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Dog
HMZ God
793 Posts |
Posted - 19/10/2004 : 10:58:37
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I thought he killed himself, or have i got this wrong ?
Both the Dog and Jungle were at Ashton Gate last night, we have 30 or so witnesses.
Derek could be a suspect however. He was using a whistle all night and the local Platform Master was getting all confused, this could have had a knock-on effect perhaps ?
Hannah More Zider .......its not for gays. |
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Jungle Jim
HMZ God
Falkland Islands
1872 Posts |
Posted - 19/10/2004 : 11:05:08
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Both Dog & I have plenty of witnesses that we were at football training at the time of the incident, although Smithy had sneaked off and so remains a suspect. A quite possible cause was Derek's whistle, which was causing chaos with our running, we could also hear the sound of trains which were also apparently being confused by it blowing their horns.
Nice to see Nailsea revealed to the nation as the home of fire, I think for this reason we may have to revise the top 10 fires soon www.hannahmorezider.co.uk/fire.htm
Cider's coming home...
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Ricardiño
HMZ God
Brazil
841 Posts |
Posted - 19/10/2004 : 13:29:36
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Both very quick there to get their alibis in early! Some sort of timer device is still a possibility!
Make her day, put something in cider |
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Jungle Jim
HMZ God
Falkland Islands
1872 Posts |
Posted - 19/10/2004 : 13:37:02
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Good job we got our story straight Dog!
Reading the story again I think the most likely culprit sounds like the conductor, who refused to admit that the train was on fire even when flames were leaping up the sides of the carriage. "There is no problem" cackled the demented arsonist, as smoke billowed up from under the seats and fire alarms sounded all around him. The passengers pressed the emergency stop buttons but nothing happened, presumably because he ignored them whilst he delighted in his burning carriage. And then the doors wouldn't open, "you can't get off here, we must get to the platform where I have more lighter fluid".
I wonder if this individual still has a job this morning, or if he is now available to become HMZ's fire correspondent?! |
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Ricardiño
HMZ God
Brazil
841 Posts |
Posted - 19/10/2004 : 13:39:49
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The facts don't quite add up either, the train left Temple Meads at 8.06 and the Police received reports of smoke and flames at 8.35, and it stopped half a mile from the station. With the journey that takes just over 10 minutes, there's something strange going on!
Some great quotes for Wessex though, "we pulled the emergency thing and nothing happened." "We told the conductor and he said nothing was the matter." - Brilliant!
Make her day, put something in cider |
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Smithy
HMZ God
Solomon Islands
1073 Posts |
Posted - 19/10/2004 : 13:48:28
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The Conductor who has now been named as Dan Clements has refused to comment......
 
Hannah More Zider......
In the Dogging Tent |
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Dog
HMZ God
793 Posts |
Posted - 19/10/2004 : 14:10:30
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Conductor Clements joked to the passengers when they raised the matter:
"If you wanted a non-smoking carriage you should have headed to the back of the train as instructed at Temple Meads - God it's getting like New York!".
Hannah More Zider .......its not for gays. |
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Gents
HMZ God
Trinidad and Tobago
2214 Posts |
Posted - 19/10/2004 : 14:31:20
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I think the best quote is this one from The Guardian "21 passengers and two crew - were taken to safety from the four-carriage train at Backwell Common, between Nailsea and Bristol." - because it describes Backwell Common as being between Nailsea and Bristol so assumes that people nationally will know where the famous towns of Nailsea and Bristol are but not the suburb of Backwell. And also proves that if the train was between Bristol and Nailsea then the train station is in Nailsea, therefore Backwell doesn't start until you pass the station, THEREFORE the Backwell Stone is definitely in the wrong place and we will be more than justified to move it 100 metres down the road on Bloody Sunday, (as we have intended to do for the last 3 years). We can use this article to defend ourselves in Court!
The Conductor was a women too.
Does anyone else feel strangely proud today that Nailsea has made the national news because of a fire?
ZIDER! |
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Jeff the Chef
Thatchers Veteran
United Arab Emirates
672 Posts |
Posted - 19/10/2004 : 15:41:33
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It's a good benchmark for future press appearances! 
....Don't Tell I Tell Ee |
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Jungle Jim
HMZ God
Falkland Islands
1872 Posts |
Posted - 20/10/2004 : 09:42:01
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An update from Points West last night - the train that gave itself to the flames was Welsh!!! It is owned by Arriva and maintained in Cardiff.
So this either means that someone knew this and that is why they burned it, or it is an act of war by the taffs, a kind of trojan horse which they smuggled into England to set fire to. This might also explain the apathy of the conductor and the un-opening doors, if it was a trap set by the evil Welsh. |
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Dog
HMZ God
793 Posts |
Posted - 20/10/2004 : 09:54:05
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Obviously they thought it best to start with Nailsea, the heart of England.
Hannah More Zider .......its not for gays. |
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Ricardiño
HMZ God
Brazil
841 Posts |
Posted - 20/10/2004 : 11:25:39
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Thi highlight for me last night was the woman who thought that the button to open the doors would still work, whilst the train was on fire! Apparently smashing the glass that says "Break glass to open doors in an emergency" was only their third choice of action!
I think we need to send a trojan train of our own in retaliation!
How long do you think this conversation will go on for before we attract MI5's attention?!
Make her day, put something in cider |
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Jeff the Chef
Thatchers Veteran
United Arab Emirates
672 Posts |
Posted - 20/10/2004 : 11:28:07
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If you want a really devastating Trojan Train you either want to pack it with explosives or devise a way of getting it to leave the track.
....Don't Tell I Tell Ee |
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Chowie
Cider Bus Convert
USA
229 Posts |
Posted - 20/10/2004 : 12:18:55
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| The Bristol to Weston track is right outside my office in Long Ashton, there is also some Horses here. Maybe I could attach one to the back of the train, I think they can run canny fast. By the time the horse gets to Wales it will blow. |
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Great train fire puts Nailsea on the map!
