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Smithy
HMZ God
Solomon Islands
1073 Posts |
 Posted - 05/11/2004 : 09:12:05
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1. A work colleague mentions this weekend they will be 'Watching the Gas'.
Are they:
a) Keeping a keen eye on their fuel consumption.
b) Going to the Rugby Club to suffer Bristol Rovers.
c) Trying not to fart too much.
2. Lower Clifton is:
a) A vibrant and artistic community in the shadow of the Clifton Suspension
Bridge.
b) An area of Bedminster now inhabited by tw*ts who can't afford to live
in Clifton.
c) Bernie Clifton's legs.
3. How would you address your father?
a) Pappa?
b) Ar ole man.
c) I don't know who he is (and nor does my mother).
4. You would describe the new city centre as:
a) A marvelously modern installation of urban architecture and design.
b) Sh1t.
c) A good place to get knocked over.
5. Banjo Island - Is it:
a) An ironically bohemian guitar shop on Gloucester Road.
b) A rough part of Cadbury Heath where the bus stops.
c) A small island in the South Pacific.
6. Bristol International Airport - Is it:
a) A great local airport that you can fly on holiday from.
b) Too windy, too far, too foggy, too expensive to park, and not in Filton.
c) For real?
7. You spot a bargain in Trade It which claims to be in Westbury-on-Trym.
Do you:
a) Grab your car keys and head out in the knowledge that everybody there is
a bit posh.
b) Forget it. You know it's Southmead really. Nobody in Westbury buys Trade
It.
c) Second hand? I've got a credit card and I intend to use it. Where's
Argos?
8. You are sat on a bus on the centre waiting for a new driver. Do you:
a) Wait patiently. I'm sure somebody will be along shortly.
b) Get off, because it'll be quicker to walk home to Withywood.
c) Try to hotwire it and earn some pocket money. Low bridge, where?
9. When catching a taxi from the centre to Clifton the driver goes via the
M32, do you:
a) Ask if he's on all night.
b) Catch a taxi from the centre to Clifton? You lazy b*stard.
c) Snigger to yourself because you've got no money anyway.
10. When in a bar the barman offers to 'Zider you right up', do you:
a) Leave directly, mumbling something about not wanting trouble.
b) Ask "will that be forn or fatchers drive?"
c) Decline claiming to be happily married.
How did you get on???
Mostly A's - Johnny Bloody Foreigner
You have little hope in passing yourself off as Bristolian, even if you
don't speak. You have no concept of what it is like to have the history of
generations of sailors in your blood, and you probably never venture far
past Clifton Down Shopping Centre. Maybe you should move back to Reading.
Mostly B's - Shipshape
You are a true Bristolian, despite your location of birth. You are as native
as the mud in the Avon. You probably buy the Evening Post every day, but
wonder why. It is people like you that keep this city alive. We salute you
me babber.
Mostly C's - Space Cadet
Good god, if Bristol was on Mars you'd still be miles out. But to be fair I
bet you can be entertaining after a few shandy's. Do yourself a favour and
get a clue.
 
Hannah More Zider......
In the Dogging Tent |
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Jungle Jim
HMZ God
Falkland Islands
1872 Posts |
Posted - 05/11/2004 : 09:34:20
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| I don't know about Space Cadet, seems to me answering mostly C's is a fair definition of a full-on Chav! Although I have no idea who Bernie Clifton is. |
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Jeff the Chef
Thatchers Veteran
United Arab Emirates
672 Posts |
Posted - 05/11/2004 : 09:54:28
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To test your theory: Smithy, which did you answer??
....Don't Tell I Tell Ee  |
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Ricardiño
HMZ God
Brazil
841 Posts |
Posted - 05/11/2004 : 10:02:20
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I was all b's which is I would probably be embarrassed about if it wasn't so easy! I disagree tho that the airport is too far!
Make her day, put something in cider |
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Smithy
HMZ God
Solomon Islands
1073 Posts |
Posted - 05/11/2004 : 11:46:40
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I answered mainly B's as well.....Cant believe I am a bristolian!!!....
Hannah More Zider......
In the Dogging Tent |
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Ricardiño
HMZ God
Brazil
841 Posts |
Posted - 05/11/2004 : 12:01:59
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Well as you always try to claim that there are more chavs in Bristol than Essex this also confirms your chavness!
For those of you who don't know Smithy, see if you can guess which one he is on these photos!
http://www.hannahmorezider.co.uk/Glastonbury/Gallery5.htm
Make her day, put something in cider |
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Smithy
HMZ God
Solomon Islands
1073 Posts |
Posted - 05/11/2004 : 12:20:04
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Wearing a hat at glasto does not make you a chav....your brother had one on most of glasto...is he a chav?
Hannah More Zider......
In the Dogging Tent |
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Jungle Jim
HMZ God
Falkland Islands
1872 Posts |
Posted - 05/11/2004 : 12:30:49
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Mine had flames on, which makes me an arsonist, not a chav.
And as I only bought it on the Sunday I would not define that as "most of Glasto"! But I can't wear it again next year as it may be recognised by the Glastonbury security team.
Cider's coming home...
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Ricardiño
HMZ God
Brazil
841 Posts |
Posted - 05/11/2004 : 12:44:55
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Are you trying to imply that you only wear that hat at glasto??
It's the style and frequent wearing that makes you a chav, as well as the chav car, chav accent, chav clothes, chav spelling, chavjob, chav house, chav money, chav fags, chav drinks, chav friends...
Make her day, put something in cider |
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Topic |
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Are you from Bristol
